Recently I’ve been struggling with being “content.” I’ve been trying to decide if that is a good thing or not.

Is it a good thing to want something different? I believe we were created for something great. To what extent should we pursue that?

When do we stop and allow ourselves to rest?

What does it look like to pursue what we were created for?

If you know me, it will probably come as no surprise to you that I love what I do. I love being a teacher and a coach. I enjoy my subject material (music) and I absolutely love teaching, hanging out with, talking to, and even disciplining the students. I value and respect them. I have an opportunity, like few others do, to shape and mold hearts. However, like tennis, the sport I coach, it only lasts for a short season. Then they move on. That’s when I wonder how much lasting influence I really have.

Of course, there’s my position as youth director at Grace Evangelical Church. I’ve been there for almost 8 years serving with primarily the youth and some with the music. We’ve seen both the church and the youth grow. We’ve seen some of our youth head off into ministry (and some the other direction). I love being at GEC. I wouldn’t trade my time there for much of anything else.

These are the things I am wired for. I have no doubt about that. I see both of these positions as something God has created me to do. I realize they both have their ups and downs but what job doesn’t? In spite of that I love what I do!!!

Here’s the rub… if you know me you’ll know that I often feel a little overwhelmed with the responsibilities of both positions and my family. My family will remain first so that leaves me to ask how long I can sustain both jobs.

I do not feel led to leave what I’m doing currently but I do have lots of questions. Would I have more influence in a full-time youth position? Would my family benefit from me being in one job? Am I wired to function in a full-time youth ministry setting? Is there something else out there that will better suit me? Should I be proactive or am I supposed to just be content and allow things to happen?

Is my pursuit of contentment selfish? Could I be pursuing a bad contentment? Is it even right to be pursuing this kind of contentment in the midst of war? According to the Bible we know that we are in a battle:

“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8 ESV).”

“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places (Ephesians 6:12 ESV).”

Is this something that is given to me as a distraction? To tell the truth, I don’t know. I do know, though, that I need to be watchful and sober-minded. The mind can be quite a battle ground. My mind reflects my heart. The best way to protect the mind and the heart is through the Word of God, guided by the Holy Spirit.

Let me say again, with joy, I love what I do! That’s what makes these kinds of questions so difficult to answer.

What struggles have you had with questions like that? What conclusions have you come to?

Through great thing through all of this is that God remains faithful. Will you?